3rd suicide attempt yesterday at 22h20. Around 700mg of Quétiapine (= Xeroquel.)
Soon after I took the meds, my whole body was shaking. Later I started laughing as if I was crazy, cutting myself in front on one of my best friends.
They wanted me to drink salt water to throw up the meds, or they would send me to the ER.
It’s been quite a long time since I wrote here…
Well I stopped taking my meds (Abilify + Prozac) and I’m super depressive and suicidal since 2 weeks.
I selfharm all the time and today I purged. Falling back into old habits. Maxime’s mom think I’m anorexic but I’m not ??? I just wanna lose weight. And purge. Anyways.
I’m going to take Abilify again really soon. It’s a matter of days.
I can’t sleep, I usually fall asleep around 4:00am and I wake up around 13:00am. /always tired/
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don’t want to, but I can’t put
Nobody else above you
I hate you I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I’ll never be her
I wonder, will it really get better ?
‘Cause it fuckin hurts to know she’s happy with someone else.
To know she’s happy without me.
Hi, I wanna die.
Wanna help me ? Just pull the trigger. Push the chair. Let me drown.
I don’t wanna suffer anymore.