Samedi 17 Décembre 2016

Dimanche 6 Mars 2016 – Bis

17h28 :

 

http://suicide-gifs.tumblr.com/

http://rxquiehm.cf/

Mardi 1er Décembre 2015

21h31 :

More and more urges

(^ One of my fav Skins’s quotes)

« – Freddie, Si tu me disais ce que ça t’a fait de perdre ta mère hein ?
– Je l’ai pas perdue, c’est pas comme si j’allais la retrouver sous la banquette ! »

-Skins

I can’t help but listen to that song aaaaaaall the time ; too catchy 🙂

Dimanche 29 Novembre 2015

18h40 :

1, 2, 3, 4

Light me up a cigarette and put it in my mouth
You’re the only one that wants me around
And I can think of a thousand reasons why
I don’t believe in you, I don’t believe in you and I

Light me up a cigarette and put it in my mouth
You’re the only one who wants me to die
And I can think of a thousand reasons why
I don’t believe in you, I don’t believe in you

I’m not yours anymore
I’m not yours anymore
No, I’m not yours anymore
I’m not yours anymore

Jump into your white mobile and run away
You’re always leaving me behind
And I can think of a thousand reasons why
I don’t believe in you, I don’t believe in you and I

I’m not yours anymore
I’m not yours anymore
No, I, I’m not yours anymore
I’m not yours anymore, anymore

Light me up a cigarette and put it in my mouth
You’re the only one that wants me around
And I can think of a thousand reasons why
I don’t believe in you, I don’t believe in you and I

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I’m craving cigarettes and the feeling of an empty stomach.

I have strong urges to cut.

I had a verbal fight with my girlfriend last night.

I want to either be inpatient again or dead.

Summary : I’m fine.

Jeudi 26 Novembre 2015

20h10 :

I’m fat and disgusting, so here are thinspo to make me feel better.

Vendredi 20 Novembre 2015

19h52 :

Cigarette, cigarette, oh my sweet little cigarette…

At least my tobacco doesn’t leave me.

 

I’ve lost all notion of time and it’s a bit… Weird and scary.

I can remember I hanged out with friends but I don’t know if that was a week ago or three.

 

Haha new blades cut deep

I was like ‘OH MY GAAAAWD’ and then ‘Oh whatever !’

 

I can’t stop drinking about you ☾

 

21h56 :

I should try the Stillman Diet…

The diet includes lean beef, veal, chicken, turkey and fish. Eggs and non-fat cottage cheese are also included as are spices, tabasco sauce, herbs, salt, and pepper. Condiments, butter, dressings and any kind of fat or oil are not permitted.

Tea, coffee, and non-caloric soft drinks can be consumed, but only in addition to the 8 daily glasses of water required.

 

But I’m too lazy to chose what I eat, plus my parents won’t let me decide what we eat.

So instead I’ll eat sugar and fat as little as possible and I’ll drink 1,5L of water daily.

I hope I’ll lose weight fast… If I don’t kill myself before.

Vendredi 13 Novembre 2015

22h58 :

T’étais déjà si fatigué

L’année où je t’ai rencontré

T’avais dans le crâne des couteaux

Qui venaient caresser ta peau

Tu portais ta haine en bandoulière

Toi et les autres c’était la guerre

 

Honnêtement, j’aime pas la musique, mais quelques bouts de paroles sont pas mal, so, why not listening one or two songs ?

 

Apart from that, my daily life is the same. I’m exhausted, I can’t concentrate, I sleep during my courses, I feel numb or I feel too much, and more than everything : I’m sad.

I don’t wanna die, I want to feel safe in my head, my body, and with all the people around me.

…Plus I gained 2kg in less than a month without doing anything and I’m just getting fatter and fatter with time.

Vendredi 30 Octobre 2015

14h31 : 

LUNCH (414kcals)

• 140g of potatoes – 105kcals
• An egg – 90kcals
• 50g of semi-skimmed milk* – 25kcals
• 25g of goat cheese – 75kcals
• 5g of honey – 15kcals
• A slice of white bread – 104kcals

*lait demi-écrémé

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Je suis tombé sur un de mes articles écrit le 27 Mai 2015 (a looooong time ago x)), et depuis j’ai un update à faire sur mes envies de piercings 🙂

Avant :

• Un septum
• 3 lobes « simples » sur chaque oreille
•  Un piercing industriel
• Un tragus
• Snakebites (maybe maybe)

Maintenant :

• Un septum
• Un écarteur sur chaque oreille
• Deux ou trois lobes « simples » sur chaque oreille
• Un piercing industriel
• Un labret centré

16h00 :

J’ai mal au ventre. Le genre de douleur sourde qui vous prend aux tripes à vous en couper l’appétit. Et pourtant ce n’est pas le cas. C’est plus un bon gros sac de mélancolie. Relire des messages, de vieux articles sur des blogs.

Fouiller dans ses souvenirs poussiéreux.

C’est très nocif de se retourner la tête pour vivre dans le passé, croyez-moi. J’ai un peu trop tendance à le faire dernièrement. Un peu trop pour le bien de tout le monde. Parce que les gens changent.

Je ne crois pas avoir changé. Ou alors c’est en plus sombre, plus colérique, plus triste aussi.

Jeudi 29 Octobre 2015

22h36 :

• A banana – 110kcals
• 1/3 pizza – 240kcals
• A slice of white bread – 104kcals

Total : 454kcals

That’s way better than yesterday 🙂

Mercredi 28 Octobre 2015

16h06 :

I just woke up and I’m sooo exhausted… Finally I won’t go out today. But I need those cigarettes… *sigh*

I’m trying to lose weight because I’m really really fat, the summer holidays were full of french fries u.u

(I’m 5’2 and I weight 99,4lbs)

 

So, today I ate :

LUNCH (455kcals)

• 70g Basmati rice – 85kcals
• 10ml Rice milk – 20kcals
• 200g Ravioli with tomato sauce – 246kcals
• A slice of white bread – 104kcals

EVENING MEAL (284kcals)

• A bowl (500ml) of pumpkin soup – 180kcals
• A slice of white bread – 104kcals
• 20 almonds – 200kcals

TOTAL (939kcals)

• It’s a lot but if I don’t eat over 1000kcals a day I should lose a weight… At least a bit.

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21h30 :

And I’m watching American Horror Story now ! That’s so great 🙂

I’m at S1E12 and I’m scared about the baby and the new teen but, hey, no spoilers dear x)